supporting kids after online scams
The number of online scams directed at kids/teens has exploded in recent years. Online gaming services, social media and e-commerce sites are popular targets for online criminals. If your child has fallen prey to an Internet scam, you are not alone and they are not alone in their victimization.
Kids are often either embarrassed or scared, which makes them more hesitant to talk about their experiences; however, your calm and understanding response will greatly increase their chances of recovering from being scammed.
This parent guide will provide you and your child with ways to support them emotionally and practically after an online scam has occurred. You will be provided with step-by-step guidance in limiting the damage done, assisting your child with the healing process, and teaching your child stronger preventive measures for future scams.
Why Children are Vulnerable to Online Scam
Children & Teens are particularly susceptible to becoming victims of online scams due to the amount of time they typically spend on websites, apps, etc. such as Roblox, Fortnite, Instagram, Snapchat or Tik Tok.
Scammers are adept at exploiting a child's ability to trust others by offering them something exciting or playing to their fears, among other things.
Common scams include:
1. Video game scams - fraudulent offers that promise free gaming currency, skins, or items but actually steal the customer's account information and/or money.
2. Phishing and Fake Shopping Sites - emails or advertisements that promise low-cost gadgets/clothing but result in stolen financial information.
3. Sextortion (includes sexual extortion) - predators create an elaborate fantasy, usually pretending to be in a romantic relationship before blackmailing teens, using their most intimate images, or threatening to share them with others.
4. Fake Winners / Contests - unsolicited emails that state "You've Won" followed by requests for personal information or a small amount of money.
5. Imposter Scams - unsolicited text messages or direct messages attempting to mimic a friend, school, business, etc.
Teenagers tend to make snap decisions, especially when they are euphoric or under duress, without much thought at all.
Immediate Steps: What to Do Right After Discovering the Scam
Stay calm when your child confesses or you notice something wrong. Sometimes anger or blame can prevent them from disclosing problems in the future because they become afraid of consequences in their relationships or being punished for their actions.
So, here is your action check list of things to do:
1. Provide non-judgmental listening - Let them express their story in its entirety and that you love them and it is common for many kids.
2. Securing accounts and devices - Change passwords immediately; enable two factor authentication on all sites; run antivirus software; check for unauthorized transactions.
3. Limit the financial effects - Contact your bank or payment processor immediately. A lot of banks have the ability to reverse fraudulent charges once they are reported.
4. Preserve the evidence - Do not delete any messages, screenshots, or transaction records; these are very helpful in filing reports and recovering what was lost.
5. Block the scammer - Block and report their account in the platform where this scam took place.
6. If you lost money or gave your information out, act within 24-48 hours for the best chance at recovering what you lost.
Providing Emotional Support To Victims Of Scams
For many victims of scams, the emotional effect is greater than the monetary effect. Victims may feel stupid, worried about becoming a victim of identity theft; or afraid of being blackmailed again.
Practical ways to support your child emotionally:
1. Validate feelings, e.g., “People will try to deceive you, and are very good at it.”
2. Avoid shaming comments, e.g., “Did you really fall for that?” Replace it with comments that encourage you both together, e.g., “Let us solve this problem together.”
3. Reassure your child, that being a good person and trusting people is a quality not a flaw, and you are a good person. Scammers look for these types of people.
4. Watch for indications that your child may be struggling emotionally. Is he/she not participating with others socially? Is he/she having sleep difficulties? Is he/she keeping his/her devices secret from you? Is there a change in his/her mood?
5. Seek professional assistance, if warranted. If the distress is severe enough or if there are signs of severe trauma, a qualified professional, preferably one who specializes in digital issues, may be able to help.
Being available in a constant manner for your child will allow them to get through this experience without lasting harm to their self-esteem.
How to Report the Scam Effectively
Reporting serves two purposes: one is to try to get back your money; two is to keep the perpetrator from doing this same act to others.
Where to report:
1. The platform you used (Facebook, Instagram, Roblox, etc.). Most major companies have a reporting system built into their application.
2. A police department, or if you reside near a cyber crime unit, report to them also.
3. National resources like the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3.gov) or equivalent in your country.
4. For sextortion involving intimate images, contact organizations specializing in child protection (such as NCMEC’s CyberTipline in the US).
While blackmail situations can lead to serious consequences, it is crucial that you do not pay the scammer. Paying will usually lead to continued demands. Instead, do your best to document everything and quickly involve the authorities.
Talking to Your Child: Turning the Experience into a Learning Opportunity
Conversation tips:
1. Decide on a time that is both quiet and stress-free to talk to your child.
2. Use open-ended questions when talking with your child. For example, “What are some reasons you believed that message was real?” or “How do you feel about it now?”
3. Together with your child, discuss what red flags you may have overlooked, such as urgent requests, impossible requests, requests for payment (cash or gift card) or requests to keep the conversation secret.
4. Use role play to allow your child to practice saying “no” and coming to you first in situations where they may feel pressured.
5. Establish clear family rules regarding sharing personal information, clicking on links or making online purchases.
Ongoing and regular discussions about internet safety will provide far more benefit than one single lecture.
Preventing Future Online Scams: Practical Family Strategies
One of the most effective means of preventing scams online is to combine technological education with personal experience. For example:
1. Parental Controls and Privacy Settings on Apps and Devices
2. Teach them to “Stop, Question, Verify,” prior to clicking, sharing or sending money
3. Monitor all spending on your child’s devices or accounts
4. Encourage your children to use strong, unique passwords and not reuse them
5. Be careful about sharing personal or intimate photographs
6. Review their friend requests and gaming interactions together
Regardless of whether safety is a family effort or simply be a very strict set of behavioral rules, hold each other accountable and encourage each other by being open and honest with one another.
Rebuilding Trust and Moving Forward Together
Recovering from a scam takes time to rebuild your trust and bond. Most families who openly communicate with one another report their relationships are better off than before the scam occurred. Celebrate each of these accomplishments as small steps forward, but also take time to acknowledge the lessons your child will carry with them beyond the scam in to their future.
If your child has experienced significant loss of money or emotional injuries as a result of the scam, you should look into the support groups available for you as parents whose children have been scammed. You will be developing critical “digital street smarts” in your child, and that will serve them well for years to come.
Conclusion
Helping children recover from being defrauded through online schemes requires a lot of patience, rapid response and compassion to support them emotionally, support their ability to secure their accounts and provide them with opportunities to learn from the incident.
Keep in mind that your child is not to blame for falling victim to a scam; instead, it is the scammer who has committed the crime. As a parent, your responsibility is to protect, nurture and empower your child in this digital age.
